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A little lucidity would not go amiss

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the best sign ever [Aug. 30th, 2006|06:14 am]
A little lucidity would not go amiss

A POUND OF GOD KNOWS WHAT
Originally uploaded by conradh.
Truly, I do not want to fall into an elitist-thinking trap, wherein I contend that hard-working, short-on-cash people should ALWAYS buy brown rice and tofu in bulk in order to Fight The Power and also not die young, but every time I go past a McDonald's or a Church's or a Taco Bell and see masses, MASSES, of customers slamming down inert, perfumed foodlike substances created in laboratories across this great nation of ours, my heart dies a little.
link10 cabiri|dactyl

done! [May. 12th, 2004|02:09 pm]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
interview went well. more tk
link13 cabiri|dactyl

I forgot to say [Feb. 11th, 2004|09:50 am]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
I went friends-only months ago...so if anyone should happen to stumble upon me and want to read further, just let me know and I'll friend you. Unless you are a serial killer or something.
link67 cabiri|dactyl

from a childfree web site i love [Nov. 26th, 2003|03:27 pm]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
Preparation for Parenthood

Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for potential parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.

1. Women: to prepare for materinity, put on a bathrobe and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go to the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time.

2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it -- it'll be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

3. To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds. At 10 p.m. put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at midnight and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1 a.m. Put the alarm on for 3 a.m. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2 a.m. and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45 a.m. Get up again at 3 a.m. when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4 a.m. Put the alarm on for 5 a.m. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish stick behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems. First, buy an octopus and a drawstring bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed: all morning.

6. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube. Using only scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into a Christmas cracker. Last, take a milk container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations. You have just qualified for a place on the playgroup committee.

7. Forget the Miata and buy a Plymouth Voyager. And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream bar and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a quarter. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.

8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette end, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand, until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.

10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child -- a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this do not even contemplate having children.

11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy cereal and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the cereal is gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month-old baby.

12. Learn the names of every character from Blue's Clues, Barney the Dinosaur and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. When you find yourself singing "I Love You, You Love Me" at work, you finally qualify as a parent.
link2 cabiri|dactyl

(no subject) [Nov. 26th, 2003|03:16 pm]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
water
Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.


What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla
linkdactyl

everybody! read! [Nov. 26th, 2003|11:29 am]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
http://slate.msn.com/id/2091475/
link1 cabiri|dactyl

calling all michael jackson fans.. [Nov. 20th, 2003|12:47 pm]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
i need to interview one from south carolina. does anyone know anyone?
link4 cabiri|dactyl

(no subject) [Nov. 11th, 2003|12:00 pm]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
Womyn
You're WOMYN. You've got the whole mellow and chill
attitude going on, and lots of chicks dig that.


What kind of lesbian are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
link1 cabiri|dactyl

from www.internalmemos.com [Nov. 6th, 2003|04:35 pm]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
From: Sanders, Joseph
Sent: Monday, July 29, 2002 6:38 AM
To: Unix Team MSP; NT Support; Network Support
Cc: Selzler, Galen
Subject: Star Wars figurines

Hello,

To those of you who this doesn't apply to, I apologize in advance for including you in this e-mail.

To the person (or persons) who finds it funny to repeatedly position my star wars figurines in inappropriate positions, please stop. The note I put there requesting this to NOT be done was not a challenge for you to do it again, or to see how grotesque and inappropriate you could get. In all
seriousness, I ask you to stop. I find this extremely inappropriate, distastefull, offensive, and in no way, humorous. If this continues, I will report this to HR. Please, understand that I don't take this lightly and ask that you respect my wishes on this.

Again, to those of you who are receiving this, and have had nothing to do with this, I apologize.

I believe the perpetrator(s) is a member of one of these teams, based upon previous actions of this nature.

Joe
link1 cabiri|dactyl

posted on a wiccan web site: [Oct. 31st, 2003|11:33 am]
A little lucidity would not go amiss
[mood |halloweeny!]
[music |the monster mash]

Request for Watery Ritual Work (Oct. 27)

As you know, much of southern California is burning. The fires, some of them arson, are burning all around the Los Angeles Basin and down into San Diego as well. People and both domestic and wild animals are losing their homes. Would you please do some water magic, rituals, or spellwork on behalf of people of all faiths, domestic and wild animals, trees and plants and gardens, and the hills. You might want to sing James Taylor's song, "Shower the People," and visualize the shower being actual rain as well as love. Many thanks!
link9 cabiri|dactyl

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